On open letter to Shia LeBeouf: Please just stop

Dear Shia,


Please, for the love of everything from the 1980’s please just stop. Stop ruining every franchise I loved as a child. You have taken my youth and destroyed it frame by frame in glorious, headache inducing 3D. You have taken my beloved Transformers and thrown the franchise into the ground. I used to love to wake up early on Saturday morning, run down the stairs, and turn on the television and bask in the miraculous glow of Optimus, Jazz, Megatron, and Starscream. never in those cartoons was there a fast talking, untalented, overconfident oompa loompa pulling my focus off 30 foot tall cartoon robots only to focus on an 5 foot tall sack of fail. I am terrified to fire up my Blu-Ray player for fear that I have to sit through another one of your mediocre fast talk monologues, or see some gorgeous leading lady tower over your pathetically small and frail stature.


You destroyed Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The movie was terrible enough in plot (as most of the Indiana Jones movies… Temple of Doom anyone?), but that was the charm of the movies. You again could not leave well enough alone and had to outdo the ridiculous plot with even more ridiculously terrible acting. Shia, do you have only one character you can play? Is there no more talent you can acquire? With all your ill earned millions can you not afford to have a real actor just look like you in CGI and put up a half way decent performance.


Finally you took a classic, a proper 1987 classic and just shit all over it for lack of a better expression. I mean, what was that? What was that whole movie… Did Mr. Hollywood agent just call you up and say he had a franchise that  needed to be destroyed and he couldn’t think of anyone better. Did you really think you could outshine 1987 Sheen? If you think 2011 Sheen is full of win, 1987 Sheen would win all over you until you couldn’t see.


In summary, you are just terrible and you should take a break. Think about this… You made a Canadian punch you in the face. A CANADIAN! The most non-confrontational nation on the planet and you ruined so much for the world that a Canadian had to punch you in the face to get you to realize it. Walmart is always hiring greeters. Even I doubt that you could piss people off enough to punch you in the three seconds it would take them to walk by… or maybe you could.


Hugs and kisses,




Ok, im gonna have to disagree here. I LIKE SHIA! Douchebagary aside, he´s actually a talented actor. I would recommend you have a looksy at a trailer of `Tru confessions` circa 2002. Amazing performance..and def noo fast talking. As for the franchises…Transformers, lets have a closer look at Michael Bay´s directinf ´style´..when explosions are more important and louder than Optimus Prime/Liam Neeson´s hypnotizing monologues (such a wise robot he is), i say bad director bad..Indiana jones…Shia is the only reason I watched it, not even he could save it.


I think the kid may have had some talent 10 years ago, but he is a talentless mess today. Maybe he will have a role where he actually has to act at some point… I will be waiting.