The iPad 3 Cometh

Behold mere mortals, the almighty is about to bestow on you the final piece of the holy trinity that is the iPad 3 (or iPad HD). With a case forged of fortified unicorn horn, assembled by magical pixies in an enchanted forest (apparently somewhere in China), a screen visualizing an alternate universe in pure HD, and controlled by pure desire… Prepare yourselves, none of you are worthy. The iPad 3 cometh.


I pulled some strings and spoke to Tim Cook himself about pushing the launch date back from a much more glorious day (March 3rd of course), and the iPad 3 is set to descend from the heavens, drain your bank account, and materialize in your clammy, eager hands on March 7th.


Whom among you is without iPad? I ask you to step forward and swipe the first credit card.