Crackberry Social Manners

We have all been in the middle of winding up the world’s funniest joke when the captive audience you are entertaining breaks contact from your eyes and refocuses their pupils on that blinking red light… that f*cking blackberry. Crackberry addiction is a serious affliction (rap lyric anyone… T-pain) that is impacting the vast majority of my friends and associates. Long gone are the days where you can pop out with some friends, sit down at a bar, pub, restaurant, or lounge and just have a conversation without half the audience constantly flexing their thumbs on their Blackberry, faces blank, with a spot of drool dribbling out of the corner of their mouth.

Now I am purposely picking on Blackberry owners (users… addicts) here because in my small circle of acquaintances they are the biggest offenders. Now maybe I know more people who use blackberrys because of the industry I am in, but the same blatant offensive visual checkouts do not seem to be occurring with my iPhone toting hipster friends, or Android rocking nerds.

The typical after work situation:

  1. Agree on an after work spot
  2. Pop out to aforementioned spot
  3. Sit down first so as not to be the one responsible for purchasing the first round
  4. wait and observe while each subsequent addict relieves their pocket, purse, or man bag of the Blackberry and face it upwards exactly 40 degrees off the center of their vision.

Put your blackberry down (I can’t be bothered to capitalize). What was the point of this rant anyway… Oh yeah, grow a fingerstache (look it up), put on a v-neck tee shirt, pay $200 for a bed head haircut, buy an iPhone, and leave that hipster communicator in your pocket when you’re out socializing with the rest of your androgynous hipster friends that also probably work freelance in some creative field and ride a fixed gear bike… dick.

Investing in Generation Y

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2008 changed the way the world thinks about investing, finance, and money in general. Managing investments, and more importantly, managing investment risk came into direct focus as investment firms lost previously incomprehensible sums of money for their investors. I stress that the money was ultimately lost by investors as many of the investment managers still reaped profit from fees and charges, especially in the hedge fund space. This dramatic direct loss of wealth by individuals has spurred a new trend in individual investors championed by twenty and thirty-somethings not wanting to make the mistakes of their elders who saw entire retirement plans sidelined by a combination of economic, political, and regulatory factors, culminating in the complete absence of proper risk management. These new “Generation Y” investors are driving a new wave of technology savvy retail investors that are taking advantage of newly accessible tools, strategies, and information that has thus far been in the grasp of professional trading firms.

This multi-part article will explore the tools, strategies, investment vehicles, and trends enabling the Generation Y retail investor to recognize considerable returns versus the retail investors of the previous generation. Please feel free to leave questions or comments in this thread so I can update the article direction to be more targeted.

Book Review: The Dark Fields

Yet another unexpected surprise in a semi-random selection from my local second hand book store. Imagine going through the everyday grind in New York City (a massive stretch right…). You are not making heaps of money, you are not moving up in your company, but you have a steady job that lets you work from home and you can afford a tiny one bedroom in the East Vilage. Sound familiar? Now imagine you have the opportunity to… erm… reach your full potential all thanks to a little white pill. Think of it as steroids for the brain. How far would you take your new found abilities, what career would you aspire to now that you are able to learn and process information 10x faster.
The Dark Fields is a highly relatable novel that allowed my imagination to run wild and answer the question “what would I do and who would I be if I was briefly smart enough to do or beanything I put my mind to?”. Oh and of course you cannot take steroids, even for the brain, without encountering at least some side effects.
The Dark Fields is an excellent read if not a full dive into the depths of your imagination. Highly recommended, especially if you have ever worked in finance in New York.
Update: Alan Glynn’s debut novel is the basis for the movie Limitless. While I have yet to see the move I would definitely recommend reading the book first.

Back to the Blog…

Well it has certainly been about a year since I have added a new entry to the blog about stuff, I think it is about time to get back on it. No, this is not some ridiculous New Year resolution or any of that BS. Basically I am a tech nerd, yeah… and someone has provided me with a wonderful new piece of gadg that allows me to share my shallow and inane digital drivel from anywhere I happen to be resting my two cheeks. I have been sold out and I have accepted it. Yes, I am blogging from a brand new iPad… There, I said it (or typed it rather), and yes I am disgusted with myself.

I suppose I can tell you how this device has revolutionised my digital lifestyle, or tell you how the iPad has made me an officiall member of the church of Appletology, but no neither of those things has happened. The first noticeable change that took place was my insatiable desire for a pair of skinny jeans. Why? Because every self respecting Apple hipster has to have a pair of black skinny jeans. The second requirement was a fine brown leather man purse to carry my new mancessory in style. I anticipate that a new, undeserved, elevated sense of self, and a need to show my new iPad to everyone I pass will come shortly. I am slowly, but surely becoming an apple fan again (yes, I used to be one) as I continue to integrate the pad in my daily lifestyle…

The ipad has indeed transformed my digital lifestyle, and my long hidden metrosexual tendencies. Damn you Steve Jobs. Now I must pray.

THIS IS MY IPAD

THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE

WITHOUT ME, MY IPAD IS USELESS

WITHOUT MY IPAD, I AM USELESS

Cheezus Weezus!

The Iron Man 2 trailer has just blown my brain, melted the exploded bits, and left it all in a slowly congealing puddle in front of my keyboard. It’s not enough that they pulled Robert Downey Jr. out of rehab long enough to make a sequel (which is impressive enough in itself by the way), but they have filled the movie with an all-star cast including that mutant Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, and Scarlett Johansson. My personal favorite casting decision is none other than Don Cheadle as War Machine!

Check out the trailer at Apple.

December Music Featurette: Sam Sparro

I have decided to start a new monthly music feature showcasing new, local, unique, or just very cool music artists. I was introduced to Sam Sparro by a very good friend of mine that has incredible music taste with a tendency to find and follow artists that I would typically never hear of.

Australian born Sam Sparro has a very unique sound (that doesn’t at all follow his look by the way) that combines funky, rhythmic beats with a unique and soulful sound. I just started getting into this cat’s music, but I am already a fan. This is not at all what I was expecting from a skinny, white, gay Australian kid, but you can’t deny his skill. Check out his older feature song “Black and Gold” below. The video is also available on Youtube, but I can’t embed it.

Thanks BBG for the artist introduction.

Sam Sparro

Missing winter in NYC

The tree at Rock’ Center, the $1 coffee and a bagel from the bodega on the corner of 136th and Lennox in the freezing snow, the Christmas day parade, and yes even eating sh*t down my front steps after the first snow… all magical.

“In New York , concrete jungles where dreams are made of, there’s nothing you can’t do.

Now you’re in New York, these streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you.

Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York!”

I’ll let Jay Zed (that’s Jay Z to us Americans) and Alicia Keys tell the story.

You are wrong, I’m bone thugs n harmony (Updated)

Best…quote…ever! And so goes the legacy of a tiger not able to control his wood. I honestly have to to feel bad for the guy at this point… His professional and personal life have been damaged beyond repair. Thoughts anyone?

NYPost Via Gizmodo

Update:

And it’s now official that Accenture has officially dropped El Tigre as their sponsor. Accenture stated that given the events of the last two weeks Tiger is no longer the right representative of it’s advertising.

Press release

The Tube – I hate you, but I need you

So let’s just be honest. I’m all for going green, buying recycled, using low energy appliances, recycling my own fluids… and yes, taking public transportation, but this Tube situation needs to be dealt with ASAP.

If you have been to London then you have been on the Tube (the underground, the subway… whatever you call it) and if you have been unfortunate enough to ride it during rush hour then you have been gifted with a little nugget of the misery that is the Londoner’s daily commute. No air conditioning 3 stories underground, trains and platforms so packed you feel like you’re in a scene from a survival movie, and the best part, nobody says a thing to people who don’t move down into the carriage because you are in Britain (only passive aggressiveness is allowed).

Mindthegap

There is actually an etiquette associated with this most efficient form of transportation. I have laid it out below so that you don’t make the same mistakes I did. memorize these rules as they can save your life.

  1. There is a queue (a line for you uncultured Americans) when on the platform waiting for the train.
  2. There is no talking allowed unless you are dying, in mortal danger, or are crazy. People basically know you are American as soon as you open your mouth and aren’t immediately filling it with food.
  3. If you sneeze you will be socially exiled for the rest of your journey. People basically treat you like a leper… but it will get you to the front of the queue of you are still on the platform.
  4. Chivalry is dead. If you are fortunate enough to get a seat (it happens for everyone about once a year), you park your ass in it and don’t give it up for even the oldest or most pregnant saint that has the misfortune to be uncomfortably standing directly in front of you. Sometimes I even stay for an extra stop or two.
  5. A man is not under any circumstances allowed to unbutton his top button and loosen his tie no matter how hot it is (remember no a/c).

So I get to spend about an hour a day everyday in one of these hot, sweaty, metal turds, squeezing through the constipated system that is the London underground because it is in all honesty the most efficient way to get around this town. I just need Mr. Boris Johnson to get a handle on this Tube situation before I break the passive aggressive law and tell someone to move the F down the carriage when it’s 35 degrees (that’s Celsius so its hot!) and I am pitting out through my suit jacket.

I think Mr. McIntyre explains it best…

The Burnette Mobile Launch

So it’s been about a week of me geeking out on this programming stuff again and I have finally got the mobile site up and running. All you smartphone and mobile device users can go directly to the site for a mobile optimized version of my eloquent and informational prose presented straight to your tiny little mobile device screens.

smartphones_front

Oh yeah… you iPhone/iTouch/iTool users can hit up the site to for a finger friendly version of the blizzog. That is if you can pry yourself away from the coffee shop you’re presently mooching free Internets from whilst sitting your grande, breve, extra hot, no foam, soy mocha… Hipsters…